"To Be Simple Is Bliss" #Engineering #FirstWorldProblems

"To Be Simple Is Bliss" 

#Engineering #FirstWorldProblems

I share stories with the objective of providing personal experiences that people can learn from. Blogging also helps me vent about my first world problems. I am going to share one of the most aggravating experiences of my professional career; it is working with people who are devoid of social skills.

I graduated from school last May 2014. My senior year, I worked my ass off in preparation for an excellent career opportunity out of school. I bumped my GPA up above a 3.0. I had an internship with a top engineering firm. I went to several engineering conferences for career fairs. My interpersonal skills are at an apex, so I had many positive interviews and several job offers. I ultimately picked an opportunity with an international consulting firm.

Now mind you, I am thirty years old and just getting started with my career. I look young for my age, but I am mature, career minded, focused and very ambitious. I need to surround myself and learn from like-minded people. However, I am seated with other young professionals who are short in social skills.

One cubicle mate in particular, acts like a 12-year-old girl. I do not believe she was sheltered as a child, but her reclusive and timid demeanor reveal that her growth was inhibited at some point. Her communication skills are at an annoyingly simple level, often steered by small talk, even months after knowing her. Here are some examples of what I go through weekly.

1. Every f**king Monday, I'm asked, “How was your weekend?”
2. Every f**ing Friday, “What are your plans this weekend?”
3. Every f**king day, I hear, “I am so cold” but instead of layering clothes, the thermostat is always turned up so everyone else is hot.
4. Every time I have a tie on, I am asked “Why are so you dressed up?” The office is business casual
5. I cannot eat anything at my desk without being asked, “What are you eating? Ooh, can I have some?”
6. If I’m doing anything extraordinary at my desk, I am asked “Why?” 5,000 TIMES, like a four-year-old that wants to know everything.
7. Conversations are only started by obvious question. Bike helmet in hand, I will surely be asked, “Did you ride your bike to work today?”
8. She talks to herself throughout the day, and she is soft spoken, so I never know when she is talking to me or not. I am constantly distracted, and I always have to tell her to speak up if she actually is talking to me.
9. She stares (O__O)... I feel her eyes when I leave my desk, and when I return to it.

The repetitive small talk and mindless conversation over MONTHS is killing me! I swear college education was the reason why my vocabulary and social interaction burst with flavor! But apparently, that didn't happen for everyone. This work relationship does not feel like a friendship. It feels like I am tolerating someone that needs constant attention. I am so aggravated that I have to explain basic things like, 

“Listen, every time I wear a tie to work, you do not have to ask me why I am wearing one. There is no special reason for me wearing a tie today. It’s just Tuesday.”

I should not have to do this! She fails to read my body language when I am busy and annoyed. It may be too late for her to change; she is set in her ways as the cute little girl in the office. Her management coddles her and supports her childish behavior. She is applauded for being a leader, and being proactive in interacting with other co-workers. Her sense of entitlement has been bolstered by her bosses. It is harmless, but it wearies me to no end each work week. I never imagined working in a professional environment in which young adult women are still treated like princesses.

The real relationships I have in the workplace are a breath of fresh air. For example, I tell some of my co-workers about my weekends without them asking me. CRAZY I KNOW! Being around the same co-workers has not rubbed off on her. She believes herself to be mature with a bubbly personality. Everyone is really just being kind to her and making her feel apart. I might be a bit of a prude, I'll admit it.

I would say I am an extrovert because I feed off of people’s energy. But, when I am around people that offer nothing socially, I am drained very quickly. After a 40+ hours work week, I spend the whole weekend recharging and mentally preparing just to be asked about my weekend on Monday. 

So the moral of the story is, you will have to work with people who have obtrusive social behaviors. This may not seem fair, because you've always had to say and do the right thing in life to get ahead. It’s not fair, but people are hired to perform assigned tasks. If they can perform those tasks, then that is all that matters. But you can take the following lessons from my story:

• Having excellent social skills will set you apart in your career, especially when it comes to networking, presentations, and leadership. 
• Maintaining good work relationships with everyone is important, no matter what. 
• Professional engineers quite often have social quirks with no motivation to improve them. 
• You will find yourself introverting as an engineer when dealing with everyone’s "quirks."
• Yes, you are the normal one, and you will gravitate to other social people in the workplace.

 But... "To be simple is bliss"